What is hospitality really? Let’s explore this beautiful idea together.
It’s so simple; sometimes all that’s needed to host is you.
Wait…who’s coming over?
The questions from my better judgment plague me soon after I make the commitment to have a special guest over to our house. “Wait…who’s coming over? Why on earth did I invite them to my house? Didn’t you know your home is a storage container of chaos that is homeschool, preschool, craft supply store, laundry mat, seemingly-all you can eat buffet of snacks and wrappers, and miniature petting zoo?”
Right away, what began as an outreach from my heart, is now a full frontal assault of inadequacy and comparison to the other “hostess with the mostest” competing with me in my mind.
Rather than joyfully and creatively coming up with a way to share with others the things God has blessed my life with, I start to play the game of comparison. I begin to look at my blessings as less than.
I take the bait and chew it. Do you play this game too?
Stop right now! Refocus on the desire inside of you to extend kindness to that special guest. And if you’re a believer like me, ask the Lord Jesus to tune your heart to see hospitality with His eyes.
I can stand in confidence that the blessings God has extended to me to share with others are more than enough. I can be hospitable with exactly what I have right now.
Hospitality is…
Hospitality by definition is the friendly reception and treatment of guests or strangers. In its simplest form it’s you caring for them: that special guest, friend, or family. It doesn’t require anything extravagant to accomplish the task. If you think about it, hospitality doesn’t really have to involve a house, a meal, a table, etc. It could simply be making room in our schedule to lend a hand, offer a listening ear, extend a hug. If home is where the heart is, then hospitality is carried around inside of us all the time.
The invitation speaks
When someone invites me over just to spend time with me, meet a need I have, or to be an encouragement, my heart already feels the joy of simply being invited. You have the power to help cultivate that same joy in the heart of your guests just by inviting them into your space.
The desire to be acknowledged, known, and deemed valuable as a person is something written within our DNA. The good news is: we are known by our Heavenly Father. He sees us exactly where we are. He is keenly aware of our needs.God said it wasn’t good for man to be alone, so He made Eve to be with Adam. We were made to need people in our lives. We desire this human interaction maybe more than we realize. Inviting someone over communicates we see that person as and we want to connect. The invitation alone begins to speak to the desire we all have for community, without the need ever having to be asked for or expressed.
Hospitality is…recipient focused
Hospitality is recipient focused. It’s not about what I can offer them that would be deemed “prestigious” in my own mind. It’s about reaching the heart of the person across the table. This looks like offering them a meal they would enjoy vs. my prized recipe. Recipient focused hospitality can be found in the atmosphere of a gently tidied house rather than an immaculate art museum of a home where the tension in the air is so thick you could slice it with the butter knife you just set out as if you use it all the time.
Real hospitality might mean having everyone over for coffee and just letting them “be”. No games, court jesters, bells or whistles required; just an available spot on the couch and a listening ear. Some of the best times I’ve ever had visiting a friend were on “Coffee Friday” at my friend’s house. There wasn’t anything fancy about the coffee, nor the couch, but she was there and we were filling each other’s soul-cups with laughs, cries, and sometimes sweet silence.
Hospitality is…simple
Being truly hospitable often requires us tossing a plan out the window and going with the flow. Making your guest an extension of your family and letting them come alongside you in your normal life for just a little bit, takes the pressure off of them as a guest and you as host. You can be real and vulnerable.
One time we had over for the weekend, the director of the summer camp were we took the church teenagers and his grandson. We had planned for them to stay the weekend, but we were assuming their weekend stay was over after the evening church service on Sunday. To our surprise, they had planned to stay Sunday night too! When I learned this news, I panicked. I had left the dishes from lunch unwashed because I was planning to get to it that evening after we went back to normal. I hadn’t planned to make any dinner other than our Sunday night ritual of frozen pizzas. My kids were absolutely feral at this point and ready to veg out and watch “the funny show” (America’s Funniest Videos) after a long day of best behavior; this too was our Sunday night tradition.
Apparently my face said it all, so I decided to tell them the truth and the new plan. They were of course welcome to stay and they were about to become Plowmans for the night! Being a summer camp director lends itself to flexibility, so naturally, Mr. Jimmy took the plan like a champ.
Frozen pizzas for the win
Once we got home, the frozen pizzas went in the oven and the paper plates came out. The men relaxed at the table over some sweet tea while the kids laughed and hollered at “the funny show” downstairs. I washed the dishes, apologizing profusely of course, but slowly I began to relax and sync into normalcy.
Pizza was served along with the cheap sandwich cookies for “dessert”. And you know what? We had the best time! We truly grew into real friends that night, so much more than host and guest.
Sometimes hospitality is as simple as simple can be. It’s impromptu. Extending ourselves in a natural way is welcoming and endearing.
Hospitality is…for everyone
Hospitality isn’t just reserved for the traveling preacher or missionary, your best friend, your mother-in-law, or the boss. It’s for everyone; it’s even for the people living in your own home. It’s for your spouse and your kids!
I said it before but hospitality is: you caring for them. It’s the friendly reception and treatment of guests or strangers. Sure our spouse and our kids aren’t guests in the house; they live there and make the mess we tried to hide before the real guests showed up. But they are sort of a “guest” to your personal agenda/ plan for the day.
We make the plans in our minds for how we must accomplish our daily tasks and we must care for our people along the way. I don’t discuss the daily plans with my husband or my children in the same way my mind mulls over the details. They are a guest to what I must do. As a homemaker, I invite them into my plans and extend my heart and my time out to them. I can do it graciously or grudgingly. I fail at the gracious part all too often, but when I do get it right, there’s nothing as sweet as being hospitable to my family. It fills both their soul-cup and mine.
Home Hospitality looks like…
Hospitality at home might look like making your hubby a cup of coffee in the afternoon with frothed milk and a sprinkle of cinnamon on top; just something a little extra. It could be turning down the bed for each one of your babies at night.
Home hospitality is found when we make their favorite comfort foods just because, or because they’ve had a hard week and need some extra love. It could be surprise cinnamon rolls because work for your spouse has been a total doozy this week.
It’s found in silencing the interruptions in full exchange for the intentional.
You can be as creative as you want to be. You know your people and I know you’ll be able to find a way to reach their heart.
Hospitality is…God’s work
As a believer in Christ Jesus and His Word, I’m called to share what I have. I’m called to encourage and “look onto the things of others.” Philippians 2:4
Everything I do is supposed to be for His glory and “done unto the Lord.” Colossians 3:23-24
This includes the preparation before the presentation. Yes, that means the setting up and cleaning up of my house before the company comes over should be done “unto the Lord.” He sees it all even when our guests cannot. Proverbs 15:3 tells us this.
There’s an old song that says “little is much when God is in it.” It’s true. If I’m called to share what I have, then what I have is more than enough. It’s fully adequate for God to use because all good things come from Him. James 1:17
He can do more than I can think or imagine even with my little house, imperfections, and frozen pizzas. Ephesians 3:20
Through Christ we can be the hostess with the mostess because all we have to do is be available for Him to use.
I hope you find encouragement here to extend your heart and a seat at your table with your people!
Much love,
Chelsea
While I was reading this, I thought of how we make our plans, but the Lord often will change them when we least expect. I loved how you just went with the pizza 🍕 nd just did life with your guest.
I struggle with hospitality. It was never something I was taught as a child, but as an adult I have become more aware that I need to work on this skill. Reading this was such an encouragement because you made hospitality seem so simple…so attainable.